


Suffering and tragedy one shots

by Bectara, Clovesstory



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Anxiety Attacks, Cutting, Date Rape Drug/Roofies, Death, Depression, Don't copy to another site, Love, Miscarriage, Multi, Rape, Recovery, Self-Harm, Self-Hatred, Suicidal Thoughts, Tragedy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-08-22
Packaged: 2020-09-23 20:44:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20346439
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bectara/pseuds/Bectara, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Clovesstory/pseuds/Clovesstory
Summary: This is an angst series of one shots that myself and my girlfriend have written to get our angst out. This is not fluffy. This is angst and some stories do not have happy endings. Some stories are based on our real life past. Some are not. Thank you for reading.





	1. Fired.

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SantoDiCostellazione](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SantoDiCostellazione/gifts).

On an early shift at his dream job, Phichit had a rare bad morning. He had missed his bus so he ran to the building. 

Puffing and still in his coat, he was told to head down to the parking lot with a wheelchair for a customer who was coming in to the centre. He needed an aisle chair so he can squeeze through the halls but he was tired and barely had time to put his bag down before he got information thrown at him from all angles. He's done this a million times perfectly but this one morning he brought the wrong chair. The customer was a little annoyed but not too upset that Phichit brought the wrong chair, the driver however had a grudge against Phichit for an unexplained reason and Phichit kept taking all the flack from this woman. 

Every time people higher than Phichit fucked up, he took it all. He was okay with that, really, he was.

One day, that day… the woman confronted Phichit and told him that she would report him to everyone she could, give him the most severe reprimand.

Phichit was still waking up, his brain was still somewhere down the hill he ran to get to work. He was bewildered and his heart shattered, he just watched as the woman rolled away in the car. "What!?"

He walked inside and told the supervisor what happened. "That's okay, you understand now that you need to bring the correct wheelchair?"

Phichit nods, he was just so tired. Sometimes it seemed like the whole company was against him, even that couldn't stop him from loving his job. Everyone around him reassured him that he would be just fine, everyone makes mistakes. 

Surely… he would be okay… you aren't human if you don't make mistakes. 

Phichit had a meeting scheduled for the next afternoon, he was coming up to the end of his 90 day trial and was told that it was just a catch up to talk about future training. 

He walked into the meeting, Yuuri had happily given him a ride since he needed to go shopping at the shops beside the meeting place. 

Phichit went in alone. 

He climbed the stairs and saw his boss sitting at the table he had trained at, just a few weeks ago. She was surrounded by papers and had the second in charge sitting beside her. He nods as Phichit enters the room. 

"Hello Phichit, how are you today?" 

Phichit smiles "I've been having so much fun! I can't wait to complete the rest of my training."

"Well …" 

Phichit's heart jumps in his chest, he feels sick dread within him.

"We have decided not to keep you on, from here on your employment is terminated." 

Tears immediately begin to fall down Phichit's face, he clings to the wooden table in horror, his head dropping to the wood as his world becomes dark and dizzy. 

_ My flat… I'll lose it… my study counts on this work… I'll have to go home.. I've lost everything.. I've let Yuuri down. He got me this job and he believed in me. I worked so hard and now it's all gone.  _

Phichit has never been so small and weak before, so terrified. 

"What am I going to do!? I'll lose my flat! I'll lose my diploma! I'll lose my life. What am I going to do!!??" He screams at the two people in the room. 

The woman is emotionless as she places the termination letter in front of him. "Hand over your security card." 

Phichit yanks his lanyard off as painfully as he can and grabs the letter, his legs threaten to collapse under him as he takes each step further. 

He stands at the top of the staircase, for a minute, he genuinely considers throwing himself down the stairs. What would it matter? Nothing would happen. He wonders if he should hang himself over the banister of the stairs but he doesn't. He doesn't do it. Instead he walks down slowly, taking in the last view of the place that he had his first interview for his dream job. 

* * *

He was late and embarrassed, he had gotten lost, missed his bus and ended up grabbing a taxi with a great Russian driver who sped to try and get Phichit there in time. 

He burst into the waiting room and found five other men there, they smiled at him and he laughs nervously. They tell him that the interviewer isn't here and he is all good. He quickly changes into another shirt that he had all nice and ready for the interview, right in front of the others. 

They giggled as Phichit distracted them from their nervousness. His interview went well and he was offered the job on the spot, it went so well in fact that the interviewer gave him a ride to the bus stop. 

* * *

His hands trailed along the desk on his way to the door, he griped the door handle and staggered out into the street. 

He has never been more glad that Yuuri drove him. He grabbed his phone, his heart shattering and tears won't stop falling. He's still in his uniform as he calls Yuuri desperately. "Yuuri oh my god I've been fired! Help… help me Yuuri! Help!" 

Yuuri bursts out of the door and finds Phichit in a mess. He grabs Phichit and brings him into his arms, the phone call still ongoing. 

Yuuri sees the looks of people around him and brings Phichit to his car. They hold hands while Phichit cries and looks through the window, his body and mind numb but tears continue to fall. 

After what feels like 10 minutes Phichit grabs his phone and clicks on his father's contact. "I better tell him…" 

Yuuri nods and runs his thumb over Phichit's hand. "Hey dad.. I.. I've been fired!" Phichit thought he could do it but all the feelings overwhelm him, his hand comes up to cover his mouth and tears fall more furiously. 

Yuuri takes the phone from Phichit's hand, his father still talks but Phichit isn't listening to a word. Yuuri talks to Phichit's dad and tells him what happened. 

His world literally begins to crumble around him. 

He moves out of his flat 

He moves into his old room at his parents house.

He hardly ever gets to see Yuuri any more. 

  
  


Phichit cut himself off from the world, he stayed in his room and waited until he's starved to death. Food makes him feel sick and he wants nothing more than to curl up under his sheets and disappear. 

The ordeal goes on for longer than he had hoped, he had been fired illegally and was fighting to get closure. He ended up with a pitiful payment of $1300, he just couldn't take anymore. 

It had to go away. 

He watched random shows for days and days, never leaving his bed. He starved himself of both food and affection. He didn't want anyone around him, he couldn't bear the disappointment he was to everyone. 

His arms become covered in cuts, he brings a knife to his skin because it just hurts less. 

Suicide becomes a more and more appealing option.

Then, the first step came. His brother and his wife had a baby and Phichit was an uncle, he can't believe his good luck and the baby is so sweet. He holds the sweet baby in his arms and smiles so widely, finally. 

The first step was abruptly taken away.

He brother decided to move to America, where his wife's family is. Taking the baby away. 

Back hidden in bed.

Two days before his brother leaves for good, his favourite actor from the king and the skater was doing a meet up. He immediately begs his parents for the money to go see him. They hadn't seen him so happy in almost a year so they immediately agree.

That was one of the best days of his life, he got a hug from his idol and smiled the widest he has in months. 

He was able to get out of bed more. He had another session with his counsler and she very gently suggested anti depressants. He wasn't sure but decided to think about it for a while. 

One day he was watching random videos on YouTube and came across an anime show he hadn't heard of. He binged all of the episodes over and over. He became obsessed and joined all kinds of fan groups online and met brilliant people. One day he was introduced to a man online by his friend Victor. They really hit it off and became great friends. 

Phichit began to open up and told Chris everything that happened. He explained his job anxiety and how he panics every time he thinks about applying for jobs. 

Chris didn't think he was being silly or over reacting at all, he told Phichit to look after himself first. 

Phichit decided to try anti depressants until he could manage his panic, in the midst of that, he didn't realise he was falling in love with his friend. His Chris. 

Late one night when both were tired and had spent the night on video chat, they admitted their feelings. 

Their relationship built slowly, Phichit in Thailand and Chris in Switzerland. They were determined to be together. Every day became brighter with Chris in his life, he was the sunshine that was desperately needed. 

It had taken Phichit two years to find another job, it wasn't exactly his dream job but it pays twice as much and keeps him surprised.

He clings to his airline ticket as he runs through duty free, he turns the corner to the main terminal. Chris stands tall, tears in his eyes as he reaches. 

Chris…

Phichit….

Maybe it was worth it to meet his soulmate. 

  
  


Maybe it was worth it to meet  _ her  _ soulmate. 

This is my life and I'm sharing it with the world. I am clovesstory, my name is Heather and I'm in love with bectara. 

Thank you SantoDiCostellazione who was played by Victor. 

Yuri on ice saved my life. Comment below if it saved yours too.


	2. Mila's story part one

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is part of a short series that details my story. Two years ago, I suffered through a miscarriage. I've been holding on to that hurt for so long and this is how I'm getting it out. I felt so isolated and alone throughout everything that happened and to anyone who has been through this or is going through this. I want you to know. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! 
> 
> This story is for me. For my healing. But i also want to bring awareness to this topic as a whole and bring it out of the closet of taboo. 
> 
> One out of every 4 women will go through a miscarriage at some point in their life. I am one of four.

She felt her world crumble around her, forcing herself to stay calm as she listened to the doctor on the line, her cell phone to her ear as she leans her head on the steering wheel, car long pulled over into a near abandoned parking lot. 

“We looked over your ultrasound and we did see a few larger clots toward the opening of your uterus, however we didn’t see anything resembling a pregnancy. We are going to call this a miscarriage, officially. I’m so sorry.” 

Mila felt the stinging in her eyes and hot tears on her cheeks, slowly falling as she processed the words, a hand automatically dropping to her stomach. Her throat felt as if she was being painfully choked, but she spoke anyway, “I- I understand… thank you for letting me know…” She refused to break down.  _ Not during the phone call. _ “I somewhat suspected as much…”

“Suspected or not, these things are hard to go through… If you have any questions, or need anything, even just someone to talk to, please feel free to come in and talk to any of our staff. We want to make sure you heal from this in every way possible.” She could hear the sympathy and pity in the doctor’s voice, reaching out as much as she can within her professional boundaries.

“I will… Thank you. I have to go now. Bye.” the redhead hangs up the phone without listening to a reply. She lets the device fall out of her hands into her lap and wraps her arms around her stomach as she screams, sobs loudly falling from her lips, tears soaking her face and neck and shirt.  _ Please let this be a dream! Please, Please! Wake up! My baby…  _

An hour passes before her throat runs hoarse and her tears are dry even as sobs continue to consume her body. She forces herself to take deep breaths as she tries to decide what to do next. 

_ He needs to know.  _

Mila reaches for her phone that had fallen into the footwell of the car, only just realizing with her car turned off the cold russian winter air had seeped into her, numbing her toes and fingers. But she didn’t care. She was completely numb as it was. 

She quickly dials the number from memory and holds the cold screen up to her cheek. It rings twice before a frantic voice answers the phone.

“Mila?” The male voice sounds concerned. 

“Dimitri…” Mila croaks, her voice breaking with heartbreak, her tears renewing at the sound of her fiance. “I uh.. I just got a call from the doctor.” He feels her chest shake and wraps her free arm around her stomach tightly, trying to force herself to still and will away the feeling of nausea that comes with her new cries. 

“We- We lost her…. Didn’t we?” Dimitri’s voice cracks and takes a tone of dread. 

Mila can’t answer and only sobs on the line.


	3. Chris.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning. 
> 
> Drug rape.

Chris likes sex, it feels good and he shouldn't be ashamed of that. If sex is between two consenting adults who practice safe sex, then it's no one's business what he's doing. 

Chris enjoyed sleeping with Victor but eventually they drifted apart, remaining friends but leaving their sexual history behind. 

Chris was very flirty with almost all the skaters but he only ever slept with those he had been friends with and knew personally. Some people didn't know that. Some people thought they were entitled to use Chris as sexual release after a competition. 

  


It was a long time ago. 

  


Chris was 18 and Victor was 20. They were determined to get to the grand prix and face each other, first, Chris had to face his qualifiers. Chris was harmlessly flirting with various people at the rostelecom cup, he knew most but there was one person he had never met, this person was clearly full of knowledge about him. 

His name was Alexander. 

  


Chris was ecstatic to be asked on a dinner date, he was ready to find someone for something more. He hadn't slept with anyone for a few months although rumors had been circulating non stop. 

It couldn't be helped.

Alexander, as it turned out, was an extremely dull date. Chris found himself drinking champagne and wallowing in pity about going home alone that night. After dinner, Chris paid the bill regretfully and expected the night to end with as much bore as the rest of the evening. Chris shook hands with Alexander and started to leave. When Alexander realised that the night was not going to end with sex, he decided to make it happen. "Well this was nice, I better head back now. It was nice meeting you" 

Alexander grabbed Chris' arm and yanked him into an alleyway, he shoved the teen against the wall and begins forcing his tongue into Chris' mouth. Chris realises this man expected Chris to have sex with him after dinner. 

_ Oh god… _

Suddenly Alexander moved away, his hand remaining on Chris’ shoulder. Chris didn't realise just how much older he is, must be late 20s early 30s. 

"Good thing I drugged your drink, you little slut." 

Chris' eyes widened, he already had felt a bit off but he figured it was the food. _ This is not good. _

Alex kept Chris in the alleyway until his brain became more foggy. He couldn’t fight, he couldn’t think and yet he is still fully aware. 

Somehow he ended up in the older man's room, on his bed. The man crawled over Chris and bit down hard on his neck, his hands all over. Chris only managed to turn his head to the side while unspeakable acts are performed on him, he cried and kept his eyes closed. 

Alexander took his time, finishing inside Chris after pounding so hard that his body shakes in pain.

Chris somehow ended up in his own room, he scrambled into the shower, not realising that he washed away critical evidence. All he wanted was to be clean and to sleep. 

To add insult to injury, Alexander was a coach of one of the younger skaters. Chris had to face him every single day for the next three days. 

On the final day Alexander shoved Chris against the wall in the hallway of the skating arena, suddenly worried about his job. "Did you tell anyone what a slut you are?" 

Chris shakes his head, the terror in his eyes.

"Good. It's not like anyone would believe a whore like you." 

Victor turned the corner right then, his long silver hair in his hands as he tied it up. He froze. "Excuse me?" 

Alexander shoved Chris hard against the wall and glared at Victor. "Fuck off fairy, this has nothing to do with you." 

"Oh really…" Yakov stood behind Victor and stalked towards the man. 

Alexander released Chris and ran for it. 

He was never seen again.

Victor held Chris for hours, both missing the banquet. Chris got sixth so he didn't care anyway. From then on, Chris stopped having sex with fun strangers at clubs, he only found comfort with Victor.

The rumors never stopped, Chris took a long time to learn to ignore them. In fact, he embraced them. He began being a little touchy and flirty, only Victor knew his truth. 

He met someone one day. 

Phichit was the opposite of Chris, full of life and positive energy. Chris was immediately enamored by the beautiful Thai boy. His world lit up, a candle in a power cut. 

  
  


"And that's my truth. I'm not sure if you still want to be by my side after that but I hope you do. I wanted you to understand that the person I appear is not who I am. I am a skater, I am gay, I like fashion, I like cats, I happen to be a great cook and more than anything… I am in love with you." 

Phichit covers his mouth, the tears were falling for most of the story. He never knew. Every thought he ever had about Chris being promiscuous is gone, he wishes they were never there. "I wish I could have been there for you, but I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere until you tell me to." 

Chris beams, he had dreaded telling this story for so long. He couldn't be happier that Phichit still accepts him. "I love you."

"I love you too Chrispy." 

Chris brushes Phichit's hair back from his face and leans in, their light touch of lips bringing him into a more pleasant time. He can finally move on, he can finally show what kind of person he is now. He is strong. 

  


**It doesn't just happen to women. It goes all genders, all cultures, all beauty standards. Rape doesn't discriminate. Enjoying sex does not make you a slut, it does not mean you are asking for it, flirting is not consent. This story is about finding the light in the dark, it can't even begin to show the recovery process and the feelings of people who have experienced this. I wrote this to raise awareness. Thank you for reading. **


End file.
